Chaos in Mudbug (Ghost-in-Law Mystery/Romance Series) Read online

  Copyright 2014 by Jana DeLeon

  Published by Jana DeLeon

  All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.

  Chapter One

  As she exited her hotel room, Jadyn heard the yelling downstairs and picked up her pace. Whatever was going on, she didn’t take kindly to people yelling at Mildred, and was determined to see that it stopped. The hotel owner had basically given her a roof and a makeshift family without so much as blinking as eye, and Jadyn wasn’t about to have anyone verbally abuse her—not while she was within earshot.

  She hurried down the stairs and stepped into the lobby. A red-faced man she recognized as one of the hotel patrons for the past week stood at the front desk, his hands clenched at his side and potbelly heaving up and down from his heavy breathing.

  “I’m telling you those venison steaks were stolen from my room last night. As well as the head I was supposed to drop off at the taxidermist on my way home. I killed that deer, and by God, the spoils of the kill belong to me!”

  Jadyn stiffened. Deer season hadn’t even started yet.

  Mildred glared across the counter at him. “You hit that buck with your pickup. Stop making it sound like you’re the John Wayne of deer.”

  Jadyn relaxed a bit as she approached the counter. “Is there a problem here?”

  The man barely glanced at her. “Nothing you can help with, honey.”

  Jadyn stiffened again. “I beg to differ. You see, I’m the game warden, and I’d like to know why you didn’t report the accident to me.”

  He turned and gave her a full-body look, then smirked. “What were you going to do—give the deer CPR? Maybe call a priest?”

  Jadyn stared at him. “I would have inspected the deer for disease. It can spread to other animals and infect the meat. I might have called a priest and a coroner, if your disrespect at the scene was as big as it is now.”

  His face turned a shade darker. “Are you threatening me?”

  “Since I don’t have a time machine, no. But I’m reserving the right to do so depending on what you say next.”

  “You’re all crazy. All I want is my deer steaks. They were in a cooler in my room. This morning, I checked to see if they needed more ice and they’re all gone. Someone sneaked into my room and stole them, and that makes it the hotel’s problem.”

  “Uh-huh.” Jadyn glanced over at Mildred, who shrugged and mouthed “Helena.” Jadyn held in a sigh. Mildred was probably right. Barring the existence of professional deer steak thieves, Helena was the only explanation that made sense. The only other person with a key to the room was Mildred, and Jadyn would bet her last round of bullets that the hotel owner hadn’t taken up food theft in her later years.

  “And the deer head?” Jadyn asked.

  “Was bagged and sitting in ice in my bathtub. It’s gone too.”

  Which was much more disturbing.

  Jadyn was positive Helena had stolen the steaks. The ghost had the appetite of twenty people and didn’t think rules should apply to her, especially when it came to her acquisition of food. But what in God’s name had she taken the head for? A better question was, did she even want to know?

  A second later, a bloodcurdling scream rang out from the floor above them and a door banged against the upstairs wall. Footsteps ran across the hallway above them, then down the stairs. They all turned to look at the stairwell. Finally, a middle-aged woman with a bad bleach job, clutching a tote bag and wearing a robe, ran into the lobby, then straight past them and out of the hotel, where she jumped into a late-model sedan and tore off down Main Street as if she’d seen a ghost.

  Jadyn looked at Mildred, who shook her head.

  Maybe something worse.

  The man’s jaw dropped. “Shelia?” he called out, but by the time he’d managed to form the word, Shelia was probably halfway to Miami. He whirled around, glaring at Mildred. “What the hell kind of hotel are you running?”

  Mildred frowned. “The kind that’s not charging you for your stay, with the understanding that you, your cooler, and any plastic that contained heads or meat leaves with you within the next hour.”

  “This is a joke.”

  “Not at all,” Jadyn said. “I think the offer was exceedingly fair, but if you’d like to discuss it further, I’m happy to take the entire situation up with Louisiana Wildlife and Fisheries headquarters, or if you’d like to file a report about the theft, I’m happy to call the sheriff and let you explain the entire situation to him.”

  The man knew he was defeated. He gave both of them a dirty look, then whirled around and stomped up the stairs, muttering “stupid broads” as he went.

  Jadyn waited until he was out of sight, then looked at Mildred. “I guess we should check out Shelia’s room.”

  Mildred sighed and pulled a set of keys from under the counter. “Just one normal day—that’s all I ask. Is that too much?”

  “With Helena around?”

  “You’re right,” Mildred said as she walked around the counter and headed upstairs. “I don’t know what I was thinking.”

  Jadyn followed the hotel owner up the stairs and down the hall to the room that Shelia had fled. “Was Shelia with the deer killer?”

  “Not in the same room, but apparently he knew her.”

  The door to Shelia’s room stood wide open, so Mildred slipped the keys into her pocket, then paused to make the sign of the cross before peering inside. One look and the hotel owner yelled, “I’m going to kill her!”

  Jadyn stepped past Mildred and into the room, needing only a second to process the scene in front of her and completely agree with Mildred’s assessment.

  The comforter and sheets on the bed had been thrown to the side, as if someone had jumped out of bed in a hurry. The set of antlers peaking out from under the comforter told the entire story. Jadyn walked over to the bed and threw the covers back, exposing the deer head, still partially wrapped in plastic.

  “If that head bled on my new sheets, I’m going to kill her twice,” Mildred said.

  Jadyn grabbed the neck where the plastic bag was secured and lifted the entire thing from the bed. “It looks like the neck was covered with plastic. I don’t see any stains, but for the record, I’d still kill her.”

  Mildred whirled around and stalked down the hall to the room at the back of the hotel that she’d “allocated” for Helena. She pulled out her keys, unlocked the door, and flung it open as if she were robbing the place. Jadyn hurried into the room behind her, not wanting to miss the show.

  Helena sat on the bed, eating a blueberry muffin and watching television. Even if Jadyn hadn’t already known Helena was the guilty party, her cat burglar outfit gave her away. She looked up at Mildred and Jadyn wearing an innocent expression that no one bought for a single minute.

  “You people don’t knock anymore?” Helena groused.

  Jadyn held up the deer head. “We had a free entry pass.” />
  Helena stared at the head. “Oh.”

  Mildred put her hands on her hips and glared down at the ghost. “That’s all you have to say for yourself? Don’t even try to lie your way out of this. I already know you stole those deer steaks, and although it’s totally wrong, at least I understand that one given your new career as an Olympic eater. But this?” Mildred pointed at the deer head.

  Helena had the decency to look a little guilty. Very little.

  Mildred sucked in a breath and her eyes widened. “The Godfather.”

  Jadyn frowned for a moment, then put two and two together and realized Mildred was referring to the movie and not a real person. “There was a marathon on television a couple of days ago.”

  “Do you think this is funny?” Mildred asked.

  “Well,” Helena said, “given how she tore out of the hotel, yeah, I find it hilarious.”

  “I’m running a business here,” Mildred said. “How am I supposed to maintain a decent reputation if a woman is out there claiming she awakened to the head of a dead animal in her bed?”

  Helena shook her head. “She’s not going to tell anyone. Neither is he.”

  “You can’t know that,” Mildred said.

  “Sure I can. See, Deer Killer claims he came here to fish, but he was really here to bang Robe Runner, who is not his wife. He keeps a separate room in case his wife gets suspicious and checks up on him.” Helena shrugged. “I figured they both deserved it.”

  Jadyn rubbed the back of her neck with her free hand, not about to admit that she sorta agreed with Helena, at least in principle.

  “That’s rich,” Mildred said. “Helena Henry, in charge of ethics and morality. I don’t suppose you’ve heard the one about cleaning up your own doorstep, have you? Well, you can start with Deer Killer’s bathtub and Robe Runner’s sheets.”

  Helena shoved the remainder of the muffin in her mouth and her cheeks puffed out like a chipmunk. “Youff a relf drag mately.”

  Jadyn mentally translated that to “You’re a real drag lately” and wondered if Mildred would get it. Apparently she did, because she reddened and pointed her finger at the ghost.

  “In the entire time you were alive, you allowed exactly two visitors into your home. If someone had moved into your property, then proceeded to destroy it while simultaneously running off your means of support and eating you out of house and home, you would have shot them and claimed self-defense.”

  Helena rose from the bed, gave Mildred a long-suffering look, then disappeared through the bedroom wall.

  “I always know I’m right when she leaves without arguing any longer,” Mildred said.

  Jadyn studied the hotel owner for a couple seconds. “Out of curiosity, has there ever been a time when you’ve been wrong?”

  “Ha! Not when it comes to Helena.”

  Jadyn stared at the wall where Helena had disappeared and frowned. When she’d first realized she was seeing and talking to a ghost, she’d fought believing it. But Helena wasn’t exactly the kind of ghost you could brush off as active imagination or eyestrain. For all intents and purposes, Helena was as real to Jadyn as Mildred was. That was just plain weird, and something that confused her when she thought too long about it.

  “What are you going to do about her?” Jadyn asked. “You can’t live like this forever. For that matter, neither can she. I haven’t known her for very long, but I can tell she’s bored. That strikes me as a problem.”

  Mildred sighed. “You’re right. It’s something Maryse and I have been discussing. We have no way of knowing how long Helena will be here. She didn’t even have much of a chance to get bored the last time, and she still managed to wreak plenty of havoc before she ascended. The thought of her hanging around for years makes me want to move to Alaska and not leave a forwarding address.”

  “Do you have any ideas?”

  “Unfortunately, no. I think we need to approach this as seeking a permanent arrangement…at least until we know Helena’s expiration date. But I have no idea what kind of permanent arrangement to make for a ghost. The fact that the ghost is Helena just makes the entire mess that much harder.”

  “I can see that.” Jadyn hadn’t known Helena when she was alive, but she’d heard enough stories to know that the woman had been hell on wheels then. Fortunately, she’d kept to herself more. Now that only a handful of people could see and hear her, she seemed determine to stick close, regardless of what it did to the quality of life for the living.

  “It’s getting harder to make up cover stories for the things she does,” Mildred said. “I’m afraid she’s going to get someone in hot water with the law one of these days.”

  Jadyn nodded. “If she were alive, I’d say she needed a job, a hobby, or a friend.” Jadyn froze. “A friend. Maybe that’s the answer.”

  “She already harasses everyone who can see her and everyone who can’t. There isn’t anyone left.”

  “Not a live friend. A dead one.”

  Mildred’s eye widened. “I understand where you’re coming from in a very general sense, but I don’t think you’ve thought it through.”

  Jadyn frowned. “Why not?”

  “Because instead of a companion for Helena, we could get another Helena.”

  “Right! Wow. Dodged a bullet with that one. I’m not sure Mudbug could handle two Helenas.”

  “Not even the devil himself could.”

  Jadyn’s cell phone sounded and she pulled it out of her jeans pocket, frowning when she saw Colt’s name on the display. A call from the hunky sheriff would put a smile on the face of most of the women in Mudbug, but if you were the game warden and it was only 8:00 a.m., that call wasn’t nearly as flattering as one might think.

  “What’s up?” Jadyn answered.

  “I’ve got a situation in Miller’s Cove. A shrimp boat washed up, probably from the storm last night. It’s been beat pretty good and was half-sunk when Harley Koontz came up on it this morning.”

  “Any sign of the driver?”

  “No. And it’s not a boat I recognize, at least not offhand.”

  She grabbed the pad of paper and pen off the dresser. “Give me directions to Miller’s Cove. I’ll head there right now.” She took down the directions and hung up the phone.

  “Problems?” Mildred asked.

  “A shrimp boat washed up in Miller’s Cove. No driver in sight and Colt doesn’t recognize it.”

  Mildred’s expression turned grave. “That storm last night was a doozy. If someone got caught out in it, he could have been blown some distance. There are fishing villages branched out in every direction at least a hundred miles. It could have come from any one of them.”

  Jadyn nodded. “Well, since it landed in the game preserve, it’s my problem now.”

  “Be careful,” Mildred said.

  “Always.” Jadyn headed out of the room, hoping the missing driver had abandoned his sinking boat and hitched a ride home. The stack of dead bodies that had piled up since she’d been in Mudbug was already bigger than she’d hoped to see in a lifetime.

  Whoever said small towns were quiet and boring clearly had never lived in one.

  ###

  Sheriff Colt Bertrand stood at the edge of the cove, staring at what remained of the shrimp boat and wondering how much was left of the boat’s captain. It was a thought better saved for later in the day and after he’d had coffee and breakfast, but unfortunately, he didn’t get to choose. Equally unfortunate, the back portion of the boat that would have contained the name of the boat had been broken off, leaving the boat and Colt facing an identity crisis.

  “You don’t recognize it?” Colt asked, looking up at Harley.

  Harley was fiftyish with a head full of silver hair that always had at least one piece sticking straight up in the air like Alfalfa. If you measured to the top of that sprig, Harley probably topped out near seven feet tall and weighed in at negative two. He had to be the tallest, skinniest person, with the longest limbs, that Colt had ever seen. He
was, quite frankly, a walking scarecrow.

  He was also a professional fisherman and tour guide and spent every waking moment on the water.

  Harley stared at the boat and scratched his head, flattening the sprig with his finger, only to have a replacement pop up an inch farther along his part. “It’s nobody from Mudbug. Bud Peterson has the same model, but he just replaced the floor in his a couple weeks ago—painted it some pansy-looking green color.”

  Colt leaned over to inspect the bottom of the boat. “Dark gray.”

  Harley nodded. “A man’s color.”

  Colt hadn’t seen Bud’s unfortunate color choice for his boat floor, and he hoped Harley’s opinion on the matter never made it to the surly fisherman. Bud would snap Harley in two like a twig.

  “Could be from one of the nearby villages,” Harley suggested. “If he shrimps the Gulf or the channels closer to New Orleans, I wouldn’t cross paths with him often, if ever.”

  Colt nodded. He’d already figured that was the case. “Were you out last night?”

  “Yeah. I was fishing out Buford Point way when I saw the storm brewing. Came in a bit earlier than predicted, but isn’t that the way it always goes? I’d packed up most of my stuff an hour earlier, figuring the weather would screw me out of another hour like it always did, but I still caught the front end of it before I made it back to town.”

  “It was moving that fast?”

  “A good clip. I was doing twenty miles an hour or so, faster when I got a straightaway, but it moved in quicker than I could run through the channel. Probably a good forty-mile-an-hour wind blowing southwest pushing it. ”

  Colt sighed. “Which means this boat could have traveled fifty miles or more by drift alone, and just during the storm.”

  Harley nodded. “That sounds about right.”

  Colt heard the engine of Jadyn’s jeep before it rounded a corner and emerged from the woods. She parked next to Colt’s truck and headed over, giving Colt a wave as she approached.

  Colt held in a second sigh. The sight of Jadyn St. James in jeans, a T-shirt, and hiking boots, wearing no makeup and with her long dark hair in a ponytail, sent him to a mental state he hadn’t experienced since high school. Without a single bit of effort on her part, she was the sexiest woman he’d ever met. He’d been fighting his attraction from the moment he laid eyes on her at that first crime scene, but stubbornness had finally given way to desire and he’d kissed her.